BOOK REVIEW - "YOU'RE NOT ENOUGH (AND THAT'S OKAY): ESCAPING THE TOXIC CULTURE OF SELF-LOVE" BY ALLIE BETH STUCKEY

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I've always dreamed of being the starting center for an NBA team - being 65 years old, 5'6", and having no shooting skills shouldn't keep me from that dream, right? You're not going to tell me I can't fulfill my dream, are you? I mean, that could damage my self-esteem! 

Journalist/Podcaster Allie Beth Stuckey's debut book, "You're not enough (and that's okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self Love" addresses five thoughts she considers lies:

1. "You are enough."
2. "You  determine your truth."
3. "You're perfect the way you are."
4. "You're entitled to your dreams."
5. "You can't love others until you love yourself."

By the way, am I the only one who notices each of those things start with one's self, not with God? They also all sound good to the ear, encouraging self-sufficency, self-determination, self-esteem, and other things like selfishness? But what if we approach it as what does the Bible say, we say that Jesus teaches following Him includes denying self (Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23) and hating your family and your own life in contrast to loving Him (Luke 14:26)? 

My impression is the intended audience are young women, and I don't fit that group either gender wise or age wise. However, it resonated with the self-centered view of the world and looking at my own experience. No, I never dreamed of being an NBA starting center. However, I did have dreams of having a novel published. I also remember talking to a promoter of a self-publishing group who in her pitch made the following arguments: 

1. "I wrote it, so it deserves to be published." (I've written two novels, and the first definitely did not deserve to be published.)
2. "If I sign up with the self-publishers, I get 100% of what my books sell." (Actually, not true - I pay them before the book is published, not afterwards as I would with traditional publishing.)

You notice that the emphasis on both arguments? And this was with a self-publisher of Christian books, but no mention on if God wanted the book published.

Allie points out in dealing with the last one that the Biblical command to love one another as we love ourselves is not a command to love ourselves but assumes we love ourselves. After all, we eat what we enjoy instead of what makes our stomachs curl, unless it is non-appetizing healthy food to make ourselves better. After all, there is plenty of middle ground between self-loving and self-loathing.

If I had a daughter between 12 and 42 (any older than this and she'd be at the time of writing too old to be my daughter), I would purchase this book for them, encourage them to read it, and suggest she and her mother have conversations about the things dealt with in this book. (I would have that conversation with my son if I had a son between that age. And it will be 13 years at least before I have a child within that range.) I highly appreciate and recommend this book.

 

SUNDAY PSALMS PART 29 OF 48 - PSALM 119:17-24

Log Church, Turkey Run State Park, Marshall, IN

 17     Deal bountifully with Your servant,
        That I may live and keep Your word.
18     Open my eyes, that I may see
        Wondrous things from Your law.
19     I am a stranger in the earth;
        Do not hide Your commandments from me.
20  My soul breaks with longing
        For Your judgments at all times.
21     You rebuke the proud--the cursed,
        Who stray from Your commandments.
22   Remove from me reproach and contempt,
        For I have kept Your testimonies.
23  Princes also sit and speak against me,
        But Your servant meditates on Your statutes.
24  Your testimonies also are my delight
       And my counselors.
                    Psalm 119:17-24, New King James Version

Isn't verse 18 a wonderful prayer to say before you do your Bible reading?

How about verse 19? Do you feel like a stranger on earth? If so, good for you, and you need to as a result grow more familiar with God's word. If you're a Christian who doesn't feel like a stranger on this depraved planet, then something's wrong!

You notice who's called "the cursed?" Yep, the proud. God doesn't think much of pride, does he? Pride is at the root of all rebellion against God, the source of all our disobedience.

Finally, is God's testimony our delight and our counselor? Or are we trusting in princes who sit and speak against God's people?

 

HERESY HUNTING; A HOLY HABIT OR A HURTFUL, HATEFUL, HAUGHTY HOBBY? PART 2 OF 2

Crossroads Baptist Church, Indianapolis

Let me start right off by saying we are commanded to contend for the faith against the ungodly who creep in with heresies and the like (Jude 3-4). When we see heresy, we need to confront it. Is that clear?

As I mentioned in the previous blog, though, heretics aren't quiet about their errant beliefs. They want to convert the unsuspecting to their view. But their focus is on those who have some belief in Christ; they're not trying to convince the ungodly. In other words, you don't have to look for heresy: the heretics are looking for you! 

I'll be honest - I don't really enjoy confronting false teachers or others who sow discord among fellow believers. A debate where respect is mutual and where both participants know how to listen as well as speak is a different story. But heretics, as I mentioned in the previous installment, want to weary you and expect you to do 100% of the listening and cave in, while they have no willingness to do either. Add to that - I'd rather encourage those who are presenting the truth of the Biblical Gospel (be it preaching, music, writing, art, etc.) than deal with those who are promoting error. Definitely more joy in one than the other.

However, there are those who consider themselves to be heretic hunters. They not only actively seek out error, they actually seem to delight in it. 

In the title, I asked the question. Is heresy hunting a holy habit that protects believers from false teaching? Or is it a haughty, hateful, harmful hobby that offends the body of Christ and turns away potential believers?

The reality is that what one person considers heresy another considers truth. One says sound doctrine teaches you can lose your salvation, while another says sound doctrine teaches you cannot lose your salvation. I read one blog saying free will is a false gospel and another saying Calvinists can't be saved. Both sides on these and other issues teach that the Bible is a believer's authority, that Jesus the Son of God and God the Son came and died for our sins, that we're saved by grace alone through faith alone, but for some, it's not enough that we agree on what most Christians consider the essentials. 

To me, heresy hunters are not unlike the Pharisees in Jesus' time. They resemble the church in Ephesus (Rev. 2:1-7), who cannot bear the wicked and who tested the false apostles but have left their love for God and especially for one another. 

Yes, there is plenty of apostacy and heresy in Christiandom, and some popular Christian leaders are promoting what Peter calls a damnable heresy (2 Peter 2:1), and we need to warn others. But often, I see attacks on well-known Christians which seem more like jealousy and the kind of judging Jesus was commanding His followers to not do.

As I imply in the title, I see pride and haughtiness in a lot of heresy hunting. I also see hatred of the popular and of those who disagree on any topic the heresy hunter wants to make a line in the sand. The result is discord among brethren, with harm done to fellow Christians, and a joyless, peaceless. loveless, patience-less environment.

Believers, I believe our job is to encourage one another, not tear each other down. We should rejoice not in putting the errant in their place but in seeing the lost saved. Like Paul, we should rejoice whenever someone preaches Christ, not finding a reason to oppose one's brothers and sisters in Christ.

 
 

A NEW YEAR'S... MAKE THAT A NEW DAY'S RESOLUTION - A STUDY ON ROMANS 14 PART 8 OF 11

Saving Castaways by Franciszek Ksawery Lampi

 

How many of you have made New Year's Resolutions? How many have kept any of those Resolutions for the first 38 days of this year? Did I see any hands raised?

Romans 14:13, New King James Version, reads "Therefore, let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother's way." (Emphasis added).

I think Paul gives us a great resolution. But is this meant to be a New Year's Resolution, which doesn't last long? Or should we consider it a New Day's resolution, one we make every time it's a new day? It's achievable to attempt to keep this for 24 hours, isn't it?

I've seen a couple of lists of verses that encourage judging to counter the misuse of "Judge not, lest you be judge" (or is it to justify disobeying the command Jesus gave us in Matthew 7:1), and I see a lot of verses and concepts ripped out of context. The most common is "Judge with righteous judgment" (John 7:24), which in the context it belongs in was actually directed to Pharisees who were judging Jesus for healing on the Sabbath! Do those who make this claim want to be associated with the Pharisees? The most ridiculous is "There's a book in the Bible called Judges." Uh, those judges include rash Jephthah and lustful Samson; are those to be our models as well? But they ignore verses like Romans 14:4 and 14:13, as well as James 4:11-12 (again, is this willful?).

One interesting thing: the NKJV rendering above translates the same Greek word two different ways in the verse. Let me share that verse again, highlighting that word and its differing translations: "Therefore, let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother's way." 

Am I right in saying we too quick in judging others when they offend us and too slow judging ourselves that we don't offend others? 

As we continue reading in Romans 14:14-16, we see that we should willingly limit our liberties so as not to cause others to stumble. Let me give an example. Let's say an unsaved friend I'm witnessing to invites me to dinner and not knowing I don't drink pours me a glass of wine. I have the freedom to drink that wine (or more likely for me, sip it). However, if a mutual friend is also invited and I know that other friend has either a problem with Christians drinking or is overcoming a problem drinking, then I would refuse that wine, hopefully before the other one has to say anything, for their sake.

This reminds me of something I've heard from John MacArthur. If we have to choose between offending an unbeliever or a fellow believer, who should we offend? Some would, for the sake of the Gospel, avoid offending the unbeliever. MacArthur suggests the opposite, based on Scripture (primarily 1 Corinthians 8-10). One reason is preferring the unbeliever over the believer tells the unbeliever we're more concerned about the unsaved than the saved and diminishes the motivation to get saved.

Of course, when we think of avoiding placing a stumbling block before a weaker brother/sister, we tend to think of smoking or drinking or gambling or tatoos or to some listening to rock music. These apply, but allow me to give another activity that might offend your fellow believers: Heresy hunting.

Some will say "What? How can you say that we're not supposed to call out false teachers and expose errors? Are you saying we should tolerate error?" No, we shouldn't. However, some people aren't merely pointing out false teachers when they see wrong teaching; rather, they are looking for heresies to attack and actually delight in it.

Why do I say heresy hunting (you could call it doubtful discernment, as the Jubilee Bible 2000 translates Romans 14:1, as I mentioned at the beginning of this series) is a stumbling block? Let me ask a few questions.

1. Are they known more for what they're against than what they're for? In other words, are they quick to criticize and condemn and save their rare words of praise for those who share both their negativity and the targets for that negativity?
2. Are they showing a lack of love to those they oppose? For example, do they insult and poison the pot towards their opponents? Do they overlook anything positive or correct that those who disagree with them say or do? Do they (the heresy hunters) act like they're looking forward to their adversaries being judged by God?
3. Are they proud and exalting themselves as the one who knows God's mind? Do they assume that those who disagree with each other aren't studying Scripture or loving God with the same diligence they are? Do they believe they've got all the right answers to debates that have lasted centuries if not millenniums?
   

But am I doing any better right now? Sometimes I struggle determining if an offense to an action is genuine weakness or if the "offended brother" is what one of my Bible College teachers called "Professional weaker brethren." Am I ever guilty of reluctantly abstaining from something I enjoy with resentment toward the one I'm offending?

I have the painting "Saving Castaways" by Franciszek Ksawery Lampi at the top of the blog. Are we being quick to save those castaways? That's what God has called us to.

Are you following Paul's Spirit inspired advice in not judging one another? Is there anything we do that offends fellow believers that we need to abstain from?